Peer Personal Statement
There was a time in my life when I thought I could use a trumpet as a weapon -- I still do.
I want my musical ability to develop into a career. My musical interest began during the sixth grade because of a video I watched. Perhaps a video of a famous trumpet player or a mind blowing musical piece. As I recall, it was an animated video of a trumpet used as a weapon. Oh, the explosives and the beaming lasers. It was enough to grab the attention of my sixth grade brain. Bring on the trumpets! Bring on the trumpets! Bring on the trumpets! That one repeated phrase left engraved in my brain, almost as if I was a part of a cult. It’s interesting how a one minute video can lead to a passion -- hopefully not for the wrong reasons, like turning something into weaponry.
I was that kid in class that most teachers presumably disliked. I was immature and irresponsible, but I can’t hide that about myself. I always tried to find an easier path. I was all about getting an easy grade, and joining the school band seemed like a genius idea, but that completely backfired. The teacher at the time was very strict. He required everyone in the band to practice every single day and keep a record. He would grade us on the spot to see if we can play a measure or two. What once seemed like a good plan, fell downhill, leaving me with a grade I was not happy with. This whole discipline and responsibility thing was way too much for me. That’s when my dorm parent would come in and tell me how much potential I had. He knew I could learn to grow a stronger passion with the trumpet. But at this point, I was just playing the trumpet to avoid study periods at my dorm. I practiced for two hours every single day, just so I had an excuse not to do my homework.
My practices were self-taught and I was on my own, until the daughter of my dorm parents came to listen one day. She was much younger than I was, and the piece of metal covered in gold lacquer caught her attention. I couldn’t resist playing a few songs for her when she showed so much interest. Her reaction was priceless. Her face brightened up with joy. She had a huge smile on her face -- she listened. Ever since this day, I wanted to play in front of more people.
After three years of playing the trumpet, it was not until I’ve faced the most challenging piece yet, when I realised how the trumpet broke me into two people. “Sing, Sing, Sing” was not an easy song to play. It was energetic and lively. A dull and rusty sound would reflect on being irresponsible, lazy, and unmotivated. A sharp and clear sound that was full of personality reflects on being determined and passionate. It was up to me to decide which tone I wanted to be. This one musical piece allowed me to express myself with the trumpet and go beyond it.
As I step onto the stage, I gently press into the valves of my trumpet whilst the stage lights blind me. I take a deep breath to prepare myself for what was anticipated. And during that one breath, I see past the lights -- the audience, eager to see and hear what was coming next. It filled me with joy and excitement for the encore ahead.
Changes:
In my final draft, I've made a few significant changes compared to my previous draft. I included a little more about the person just so there is a better understanding of him. I also rearranged some sentences so they would fit, as well as cut off a lot of what I thought was irrelevant. These changes were made after I've spent quite some time away from this writing. The period of time allowed me to relax for a while, and come back with a more energised mind.
I want my musical ability to develop into a career. My musical interest began during the sixth grade because of a video I watched. Perhaps a video of a famous trumpet player or a mind blowing musical piece. As I recall, it was an animated video of a trumpet used as a weapon. Oh, the explosives and the beaming lasers. It was enough to grab the attention of my sixth grade brain. Bring on the trumpets! Bring on the trumpets! Bring on the trumpets! That one repeated phrase left engraved in my brain, almost as if I was a part of a cult. It’s interesting how a one minute video can lead to a passion -- hopefully not for the wrong reasons, like turning something into weaponry.
I was that kid in class that most teachers presumably disliked. I was immature and irresponsible, but I can’t hide that about myself. I always tried to find an easier path. I was all about getting an easy grade, and joining the school band seemed like a genius idea, but that completely backfired. The teacher at the time was very strict. He required everyone in the band to practice every single day and keep a record. He would grade us on the spot to see if we can play a measure or two. What once seemed like a good plan, fell downhill, leaving me with a grade I was not happy with. This whole discipline and responsibility thing was way too much for me. That’s when my dorm parent would come in and tell me how much potential I had. He knew I could learn to grow a stronger passion with the trumpet. But at this point, I was just playing the trumpet to avoid study periods at my dorm. I practiced for two hours every single day, just so I had an excuse not to do my homework.
My practices were self-taught and I was on my own, until the daughter of my dorm parents came to listen one day. She was much younger than I was, and the piece of metal covered in gold lacquer caught her attention. I couldn’t resist playing a few songs for her when she showed so much interest. Her reaction was priceless. Her face brightened up with joy. She had a huge smile on her face -- she listened. Ever since this day, I wanted to play in front of more people.
After three years of playing the trumpet, it was not until I’ve faced the most challenging piece yet, when I realised how the trumpet broke me into two people. “Sing, Sing, Sing” was not an easy song to play. It was energetic and lively. A dull and rusty sound would reflect on being irresponsible, lazy, and unmotivated. A sharp and clear sound that was full of personality reflects on being determined and passionate. It was up to me to decide which tone I wanted to be. This one musical piece allowed me to express myself with the trumpet and go beyond it.
As I step onto the stage, I gently press into the valves of my trumpet whilst the stage lights blind me. I take a deep breath to prepare myself for what was anticipated. And during that one breath, I see past the lights -- the audience, eager to see and hear what was coming next. It filled me with joy and excitement for the encore ahead.
Changes:
In my final draft, I've made a few significant changes compared to my previous draft. I included a little more about the person just so there is a better understanding of him. I also rearranged some sentences so they would fit, as well as cut off a lot of what I thought was irrelevant. These changes were made after I've spent quite some time away from this writing. The period of time allowed me to relax for a while, and come back with a more energised mind.